Janna, 39 - 13 октября 2007 14:05

What a boring days! I feel like I’m not living, I know that you will read my messages again, but you still can’t help me. It’s a pity, but ok. I don’t like such weather, and it influences me much, I don’t like the wind, I don’t like the snow, I want to wear light cloth, thin tights, high heels, but I ought to wear this boots which I hate, but I can’t buy another one, coz I spent my money for the perfume, very expensive, it helps me to overcome the boredom coz of weather, coz I can feel myself the smell of my perfume and me and it exits me much, generally I like to adore myself, to feel myself confident, sexy and strong, and sometimes I feel that men feel the same, not the same, but the dedication which I’m sending to them. I want them know that I’m strong, I don’t know why I need it, maybe coz I’m weak in reality, but don’t want you to understand that it’s so. Maybe it’s my defense, my block. Sometimes I can’t understand myself whether I’m strong or weak, am I good or bad, am I angel or a cat. I’m with everyone, but alone, why I can’t open myself? It’s coz of my secrets? But I don’t want them to be known by anyone, shit, I want to be clear, but don’t want to clear my past, it’s hard, hard, but I should. Maybe I’m insane these days???, f/g weather:).

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